confessions of a TRUE lover

And i thought i was still in head over heels in love with him.
He was my ideal man,my dream,so i thought.
i was so entranced by his intelligence that i thought none could be like him..i followed him wherever he went,i traced his past from his college magazines and chose to learn the subject i thought he would like me to learn.I took his advice for my career and dreamt about him day and night..
little did i know that he never cared a bit for me..
i thought the world of him,and wowed that i shall never bring anyone so close as him to my heart,
and cried my heart out when he was married to pomp and power..
i was so sure that my love was divine,unexpecting ,and without any agenda and so must be an ideal love ,like that of the past historic lovers ,but there were two of them in love then ...i was sure i would reach my grave an old maid nurturing my undying love ..till ..
till.. i got into wed locks..
well this is another kind of love i told myself(by the way how many are there?)
and it took me only seconds to forget my past and fall in love again ..this time i was loved too..
ha this is heaven..
but what was that i had for him?i discovered it the day i met him again..
with grey and receding hairline,and not an iota of intelligence which i found endearing ,he was just an ordinary common man,and here i was basking in nonstop rain of affection .
i was sorry for myself for having spent such unyielding hours of contemplation.
but do tell me what were those feelings?is it a great joy to love or to be loved?
or how do we find out we are in love?my better half says its better not to analyse these feelings and just live the moment but am now sure that i can have one and only love and thats for my sweet spouse.
PS:"i" HERE DOES NOT MEAN THE AUTHOR