SHOULD I SAY 'i am back"?

 Yes !it's been almost 7 years.7 long years .But I am here now to retrieve my dream; my dream of writing everyday.

I really wonder who would read this ,but I feel it could be like keeping a diary, adding tidbits now and then.

Of  late i have been pestered by this thought. Actually I have been calculating my day of retirement. Ell i can openly declare coz nothing is a secret nowadays..I calculated and oops i have exactly 1000 days .that was 3 days before. I thought ,I must make these 1000 days memorable for me to reminesce.but the saddest part was to come up with a plan.

for a saree enthusiast like me ,the first thought was to post different sarees these days .I am not sure that I have that much, but at least I can arrive at a number.

I really called some friends to discuss ,but lo! they were either down with this deadly corona or were surrounded with ennui due to lock down.

so the onus fell on me ,and I here I m penning my apprehensions.

my plan 2 was read something and write about it.

what for squeaked my mind voice. But I ignored it coz I need to read solid and a short story a day and a review could be at the end 1000 stories. And 1000 reviews.

so that's plan number 2.

next comes the most difficult part. Shedding my overload.

but I an going to be serious.  imagine on the day of my retirement ,if I look as I was on the date of joining? Great dream huh? Anyways this is my 3rd point in my agenda.

I want to put down what all I eat and how much I walked and how much I lost.

all these for my sake.

I don't think anyone will be interested to know the above facts. Ofcourse, the saree pic and the review could be shared .

 Really i am clueless. I Feel I have to do some thing better.

ya . I do have one more plan too. I want to save Rs. 100 per day and at the end donate it for someone's education .

let me see!

so plans for 1000 days have begun and the count down has started.

Though I have started  writing in my page   today my next post will be '1000 days more'where I plan to post my saree pic and the gala opening of Stalin's rule.

Secretly I do hope I improve my writing style so that I have something solid to do after retirement.

second day

My grand mother used to say this ..its not great that you begin something ..u should continue and finish it. The second day is very important because you yourself will realize you are onto something serious  and pat yourself on your back.

Yep here I am as I promised myself as I would..but still groping for words and ideas but  believe I do have something to say. 

MAY BE TOMORROW.....:)

i am back to stay....

Its been really 2 years since i have written anything here...now am determined that i should write at least 500 words each day.(courtesy biswanath ghosh ) but sadly his blog too was visited by him 3 years back...but he has released 2 books,another one ready to be launched next month.But am here contemplating if i could make writing my habit...well it needs a lot of compromises within myself and it so happened that today is the day..

we all wish that our blog to be visited ,read,and commented upon ..but now i think padma start doing thy duty, the fruits might come later..i hope so..
i am not very sure about what i should write,but i have been seriously asking whether i should have been a literature student.. in fact i did sign for a PG course,for want of a good teacher the course remains incomplete.

The other day i happened to read a book about a waitress who has this special penchant for literature..and everyone calls her weird ..but a professor who comes for a snack discovers her and from there starts their love story...finding someone who appreciates what u read is real lucky (sigh) lovely fantasy.

Talking about fantasies ,i do not know why people relate it always with carnal pleasures ...for me fantasy is a higher form of dreaming and don't they drive us to achieve?If someone is reading this think about it and if possible put down your views too..

There was a funny application in face book today ...that how we might die has become old fashioned and what the Google tells about you is in .I was not surprised to read this

"Padma is an original and determined by nature also has an exceptional ability to turn theories into realities.usually works on long range ideas"

wow...i am original ...ofcourse i am ..am not a duplicate or a clone..

 Determined by nature...well what was determined? of course my sex should have been determined by nature ..no second thoughts on it ..if I am going to be a person with determination...ya I shall admit ..that I have come back here to write again shows my determination..and if i might remain the same will be proved tomorrow .so u have to visit here to disprove google..

has exceptional ability to turn theories into realities..
This i myself doubt...let me recollect what theories i may know or remember from childhood and turning them into realities huh! lots of responsibility!!

and usualy works on long range ideas..
do i? well i may  or may not but let us assume google might not lie..will it?

so thats it .just started and kept blabbering,but everything needs a first step.is it not? while typing all the above i kept dreaming about my blog becoming the best most read and i am being nominated for some award .....no no no am not greedy..but it was the google which said

 PADMA WILL TURN THEORIES TO REALITY AND WORKS ON LONG RANGE IDEAS?

good luck padma :)

DUSK

What  is not right

Turns proper.

It commences as a sigh

From the eluding sleep

On a peaceful dusk

And resonates

As the cry of the lonely crow

On the neem tree.

The scorching heat of the growing silhouette

Rises as the aroma

Of the drizzled earth.

What is not right,

Does turn proper

When u caress the moist toes

Painted pink just for you

And softly kiss my feet.

HEY TELL ME! (part I)

Two thoughts were bugging me past 4 days.Before that let me say something;i kept receiving non stop messages yesterday that was supposed to be the friendship day.i was really overwhelmed to know that i have managed to get so many friends.

Needless to say that i do cherish the friendship and my friends are my pillars of support ,are the ones i respect, admire and also want to be for them any time.But, i never had the heart to send a reply to any one of them yesterday because i had my own apprehensions about celebrating this friends day.
Like mothers day and fathers day this day is celebrated to commemorate a sacrifice done by an American friend ,tell me don't we have excellent examples of friendship in Karna of Mahabharatha,and many others in our country and why should we join hands with something that appears purely commercial.
I know i value my friends and i want to prove my friendship in their time of crisis when they really need me. I in my own opinion think i need not keep telling them i am blessed to have them in my life.
Though the concept is good, the little thing that nags me is aping the westerners.I may be wrong, but this is what i feel strongly.
AND MY FRIENDS I AM HAPPY YOU ARE THERE FOR ME AS I WOULD BE FOR U TOO.
In the end now it looks as if am writing a friendship message. hehe.

BLOOMING CACTUS

This thorny little cactus ,
learned to believe,
from the day of germination;
That beauty detests it,and people shun it.
But it was the will of God ,
For the cactus to grow ,
And stand in the wild sun ,
Enduring its fate.

Surrounding it were roses,
Though with thorns ,were sought after,
For their fragrance and beauty.
Far away were jasmine,
Filling the place with sweetness

Here grew this thorny cactus,
With no one to water,
Or a willing hand to cater.

Slowly dripped its tears,
washing the feet of Lord,
The kindest Lord smiled at the plant
And bestowed His mercy at once...

Then sprang on cactus a lovely flower,
That the world has never ever has seen.
People thronged from far and near,
To Admire the beauty and capture the smell,
The Cactus had become a celebrity,
And now felt no more an orphan!

Now washed the feet of lord
The tears of happiness
That dripped from the,
Smiling, loving, blooming, cactus!

(DEDICATED TO A FRIEND WHO ASSURED THAT CACTII ARE NOT ORPHANS)

tuesdays with morrie

I have been reading this book since last Sunday.I should say rather living with and not reading,

because every other line in the book is thought provoking and makes u wonder about the way u live;not that there are enough people in our place to say what is life and what is worth to live for;still some times somethings catch your inner self and there u go into introspection.

Each and every line is worth an analysis ,but what really is running in my mind is a sentence"He gives like an adult but demands like a child"

what an observation?are we not all in a way craving to be a child ?but we hide our emotions to be called a matured person.
Don't we all need to cater to that child in us?
when are we really going to shed that hypocrisy and be happy to say that its normal to be open with our emotions?
well .the child waits .

THE THOUGHT PATH

The thoughts wander
With no reins to impede
I sit watching its path
And wonder when it would recede.

It slowly dances its way
To the sweet memoirs of youth,
Amidst cheery and fun filled days,
That brings a dreamy smile.

Now it lingers on those days
When I cherished my motherhood,
Absorbed in the charm and charisma
Of my treasured baby’s childhood.

When it traverse those days
Of tears and melancholy ,
It stops to bid a goodbye,
And wows never to cross again.

Thus the journey goes on,
To the unknown future,
I leash it ‘coz to live the present ,
Is wiser than to dream the future.

confessions of a TRUE lover

And i thought i was still in head over heels in love with him.
He was my ideal man,my dream,so i thought.
i was so entranced by his intelligence that i thought none could be like him..i followed him wherever he went,i traced his past from his college magazines and chose to learn the subject i thought he would like me to learn.I took his advice for my career and dreamt about him day and night..
little did i know that he never cared a bit for me..
i thought the world of him,and wowed that i shall never bring anyone so close as him to my heart,
and cried my heart out when he was married to pomp and power..
i was so sure that my love was divine,unexpecting ,and without any agenda and so must be an ideal love ,like that of the past historic lovers ,but there were two of them in love then ...i was sure i would reach my grave an old maid nurturing my undying love ..till ..
till.. i got into wed locks..
well this is another kind of love i told myself(by the way how many are there?)
and it took me only seconds to forget my past and fall in love again ..this time i was loved too..
ha this is heaven..
but what was that i had for him?i discovered it the day i met him again..
with grey and receding hairline,and not an iota of intelligence which i found endearing ,he was just an ordinary common man,and here i was basking in nonstop rain of affection .
i was sorry for myself for having spent such unyielding hours of contemplation.
but do tell me what were those feelings?is it a great joy to love or to be loved?
or how do we find out we are in love?my better half says its better not to analyse these feelings and just live the moment but am now sure that i can have one and only love and thats for my sweet spouse.
PS:"i" HERE DOES NOT MEAN THE AUTHOR

why blog?

Its been almost a year since i wrote my last poem,and today i was sort of determined that i should
write at least one hundred words a day..
Lots of thoughts been meandering in my mind and i just thought i shall jot down whatever comes in ..and the question that runs in my mind is ...why do i blog?
why do i want to make my thoughts known to others and i even take pains to inform all i know that they should visit and comment too.. cheeky eh?

But then is it not natural for human beings to crave for attention and to prove to the world they are a superior lot than the contemporaries?
let me ask this question to myself..why do i want to write something?may be i want to be called "ah she is something different ""ohh she has stuff"and all that...but no that is not the case..
I recently analysed that putting my thoughts in black and white might be an effort to find out some people who might also think like me and relate to them..
Had they faced the same circumstances and hardships and happy moments i am keen to know how they have reacted and also come out unscathed..
We human are always social animals and want everything to be related and in this vast blogger world it would be heartening to know that people do think alike and they do have the same experience and they too might have faced the same hard ships and there is a solidarity...
and a feel that"i am not alone "..
yes thats exactly what i want to learn and thats the reason i browse and follow a lot number of blogs and say to myself "dearie u are not the only person in this world ..and there are lot more like u ..so just relax " and so do i..
so why do i blog ?
at last its to relax my mind..
is it true ? lets find out ........

TRUST

The cold ruthless wind,
Rips away one by one,
All the leaves,
The cherished leaves,
And drive them
And sweep them away and away and away.
But like a savior
Falls a droplet
A raindrop
Decaying the leaves
Steering them to reach
as manure
The young branches
The treasured branches…..
And sprout as buds
And dance as leaves
Singing the song of love
Till another ruthless wind
Rips them apart…….
The hope remains….

VEGETABLE STEAKS IN CAPSICUM PEAS TOMATO SAUCE

INGREDIENTS

1. bread 4 slices.
2. potatoes, boiled and smashed half cup
3. carrots,beetroot,boiled and smashed half cup.
4. capsicum green finely chopped.
5. peas boiled ,half cup.
6. tomato sauce half cup.
7. onions finely chopped,half cup
8. garam masala,two teaspoon.
9. chilly one sliced
   
10. salt to taste

METHOD
Mix all boiled vegetables with bread dipped in water and squeezed.
Fry onions add garam masala chilly and mixed dough and cook for a minute.
Add salt to taste.
Make balls out of dough slightly flatten and shallow fry in oil.
Slightly fry capsicums add boiled peas and add tomato sauce to it ,add some water to make it a gravy.
Arrange the steaks in a plate and pour the gravy over them and serve them hot.

REVERIE

So it must be a dream
I reminisce …..
In all veracity..
Or was it an actuality?
I believed must be a dream?

When the day was filled with trance …..
Lovely visions of you
Filling my heart!
Was it you whom that I saw
At the threshold
Peeping and leaving
Not willing
To disrupt my reverie…..

Oh what an experience
It might be!
To be roused by the dream
When you recline
Dreaming of the dream!!

When you hereafter steal a look
At my door…
Do call my name …
For I would then
Positively believe…
That dreams do come true…...

REALITY

We behold,
the moon,
that romantically
engulfs the earth
with cool rays.

we savour ,
the breeze ...
that carries
the sweet fragrance,
of flowers and memories.

we stand
enchanted ,
in the waves
that wash
our feet ....
murmuring a mystery.

we drench
in the rain,
that evokes
a yearning
so strong ......

And at last...
we close our eyes,
snuggling to each other..
though
we are,
only where we are ........
MILES AND MILES APART.

can we for ever?

we saw,we knew;
we talked,we reached;
can we for ever?

we shared,we cared;
we cried ,we smiled;
can we for ever?

we planned,we won;
we sang,we danced;
can we for ever?

we drove,we swam;
we dreamt,we drank;
can we for ever?

we touched,we kissed;
we loved,we lived;
can we for ever?

we wept,we left.
we think,we wish......
we can for ever!